I am torn between two very different and distinct feelings from one another right now. On one hand, I am so excited for Miles that I can barely stand it. I want to meet him, I want to hold him and love him, and I want to have my body back. And yet, I am not 100% ready. There are still a few more things I want to get done around the house before he makes his big arrival - and to be truthful, I am not moving on those items very quickly.
The last few weeks have been priceless to me. Following the shower on the 24th of July, I spent the week getting his room organized, ready and all of his "things" prepared. In this way, if he came tonight, we are 100% ready for his arrival. There is simply nothing else we need right now. I am sure a few things will come up after he is born, but I have read all the books, checked all the sources - and we have everything! We installed his car-seat and had it inspected by the fire department. I have been doing all of the "socializing" with my friends that I can possibly do! And I wouldn't trade it for the world! Life is going to change in more ways that I can imagine. I couldn't be more excited if my life depended on it, but I know that this is my last time with "just me" - so I suppose the "selfish" part of me just wanted to make sure I had gotten all of this out of my system.
I have begun checking out books from the library with titles like "Bouncing Back After Baby" and "Get Your Body Back." Haha, I suppose we can see where my mind is focused. This pregnancy has given me the resolve to get in better shape than I even was before. Who knew that a pregnancy was so tolling on a mom's body? (I don't mean to sound like an idiot - but truth be told, I didn't have much of an idea.)
For about 2 weeks - and especially in the last week, Miles has wedged himself so far up in my right ribs that I simply was about ready to lose it. He is so worth it, but good grief - I don't think I have ever been that uncomfortable for that long of a stretch of time. At 4:30 this morning I awoke to an odd sensation - I felt fine - and this was alarming. As a matter of fact, I didn't feel pregnant, I just felt kind of crampy......After a few moments I was worried. I suppose my mind is just in overdrive about what to expect at this point. I got up for a while, and realized that there was absolutely nothing wrong. I was more comfortable than I had been in weeks. Miles was moving around - and I could still feel him - but a good solid 6 inches lower than normal. From my understanding he is probably in the process of "dropping" - I am sure the doctor will either confirm or refute this on Tuesday. We shall surely see. I understand all women and each pregnancy are different, but after a call to my dear Aunt Candy - she said that sometimes this signals the beginning of labor - perhaps in two weeks? Who knows, maybe it will be longer? I want him to be as far along as possible so that he is healthy, but goodness knows Mama is ready! I still think we will be seeing him somewhere in the region of the second week of September, but we shall see - I am trying to tell myself it will be longer rather than shorter at the suggestions of a few wise friends of mine.
One of my only worries or fears right now is just the factor of "unknown" - I have never been in labor before - will I know it when it is here? I more than assume that this is stupid - of course I will know. Not to mention, it sure doesn't hurt to have over 1/2 of a doctor in the house!
The anticipation grows as does the excitement.....until then, I will just keep myself busy and occupied - passing away the days........Miles will be here before we know it!